Quit Hiring Pleasant People for Customer Service: Why Personality Outweighs Pleasantness Every Time

I’m about to tell you something that will likely offend every hiring professional who reads this: selecting people for customer service because of how “pleasant” they come across in an interview is among of the largest blunders you can make.

Agreeable becomes you nothing when a person is screaming at you about a situation that was not your fault, demanding fixes that do not exist, and promising to ruin your company on social media.

What succeeds in those encounters is resilience, calm standard-maintaining, and the skill to stay concentrated on results rather than emotions.

The team learned this reality the difficult way while consulting with a large commercial chain in Melbourne. Their recruitment system was totally based on identifying “customer-oriented” people who were “naturally pleasant” and “loved helping people.”

Sounds reasonable, doesn’t it?

This result: astronomical staff changes, continuous time off, and service quality that was consistently average.

When I analyzed what was occurring, I discovered that their “agreeable” employees were being completely overwhelmed by challenging customers.

Such employees had been selected for their inherent compassion and desire to assist others, but they had zero tools or inherent defenses against absorbing every customer’s negative emotions.

Even worse, their genuine desire to satisfy people meant they were repeatedly committing to demands they had no power to fulfill, which caused even additional frustrated clients and additional stress for themselves.

The team watched genuinely compassionate individuals resign in days because they struggled to cope with the psychological toll of the job.

Simultaneously, the rare employees who thrived in challenging support situations had entirely alternative personalities.

They were not particularly “pleasant” in the traditional sense. Alternatively, they were resilient, secure, and fine with setting boundaries. They truly aimed to assist clients, but they furthermore had the strength to state “no” when necessary.

Those staff were able to validate a customer’s frustration without taking it as their fault. They managed to keep calm when customers became unreasonable. They were able to focus on discovering realistic fixes rather than becoming trapped in emotional arguments.

Such traits had minimal to do with being “agreeable” and everything to do with emotional strength, internal confidence, and coping ability.

I entirely redesigned their selection approach. Rather than searching for “nice” people, we started evaluating for resilience, solution-finding skills, and confidence with standard-maintaining.

Throughout interviews, we gave people with realistic customer service situations: frustrated customers, impossible demands, and circumstances where there was absolutely no ideal fix.

In place of questioning how they would ensure the customer happy, we inquired how they would handle the situation appropriately while preserving their own emotional stability and maintaining organizational policies.

Our people who did excellently in these assessments were seldom the ones who had initially come across as most “agreeable.”

Instead, they were the ones who exhibited clear reasoning under pressure, ease with communicating “no” when necessary, and the skill to separate their individual emotions from the customer’s psychological situation.

180 days after introducing this new selection strategy, staff turnover decreased by over 60%. Client experience rose substantially, but more significantly, satisfaction specifically with demanding customer interactions increased dramatically.

This is why this strategy succeeds: support is fundamentally about problem-solving under stress, not about being constantly appreciated.

Customers who call customer service are typically beforehand annoyed. They have a problem they can’t resolve themselves, they’ve commonly beforehand tried various solutions, and they require effective help, not surface-level pleasantries.

What frustrated clients genuinely require is a representative who:

Recognizes their issue promptly and correctly

Demonstrates genuine ability in comprehending and handling their situation

Offers straightforward information about what is possible to and is not possible to be done

Takes suitable measures efficiently and follows through on promises

Keeps composed composure even when the customer gets upset

Notice that “agreeableness” isn’t show up anywhere on that list.

Competence, calm composure, and dependability count much more than niceness.

In fact, excessive niceness can often backfire in support encounters. When people are truly angry about a significant concern, excessively upbeat or enthusiastic responses can come across as dismissive, artificial, or tone-deaf.

The team worked with a investment company company where client relations representatives had been trained to always display “upbeat demeanor” no matter what of the person’s emotional state.

Such an strategy worked adequately well for routine requests, but it was entirely inappropriate for serious situations.

When people reached out because they’d missed significant amounts of money due to system errors, or because they were confronting financial crisis and required to explore payment alternatives, artificially positive responses came across as insensitive and inappropriate.

I taught their people to align their emotional tone to the importance of the client’s situation. Major problems demanded professional, professional treatment, not artificial cheerfulness.

Service quality increased immediately, especially for complicated problems. Clients experienced that their issues were being taken seriously and that the people helping them were skilled experts rather than merely “cheerful” people.

It brings me to a different significant factor: the distinction between compassion and interpersonal taking on.

Effective support representatives require empathy – the skill to acknowledge and validate other individual’s feelings and viewpoints.

But they absolutely do under no circumstances should have to internalize those emotions as their own.

Interpersonal internalization is what occurs when support representatives start taking on the same frustration, worry, or hopelessness that their clients are experiencing.

That interpersonal internalization is extremely draining and leads to emotional breakdown, poor performance, and problematic turnover.

Healthy compassion, on the other hand, allows representatives to acknowledge and react to people’s interpersonal requirements without accepting ownership for solving the person’s mental wellbeing.

This difference is crucial for maintaining both work effectiveness and mental stability.

Given this, what should you screen for when recruiting customer service representatives?

To start, psychological intelligence and strength. Look for people who can remain composed under challenging conditions, who won’t accept customer anger as their responsibility, and who can separate their own emotions from other person’s mental conditions.

Next, analytical ability. Client relations is essentially about understanding challenges and finding practical fixes. Search for candidates who tackle problems logically and who can think logically even when interacting with upset people.

Also, comfort with standard-maintaining. Screen for people who can say “no” professionally but firmly when necessary, and who recognize the gap between remaining accommodating and being manipulated.

Next, authentic interest in problem-solving rather than just “pleasing people.” The excellent customer service representatives are motivated by the intellectual stimulation of resolving difficult situations, not just by a wish to be appreciated.

Lastly, career confidence and personal dignity. Customer service people who respect themselves and their work expertise are much more effective at preserving healthy interactions with people and delivering dependably excellent service.

Don’t forget: you’re not hiring individuals to be professional companions or emotional therapy providers. You’re recruiting professional problem-solvers who can deliver excellent service while maintaining their own mental health and upholding appropriate boundaries.

Select for skill, strength, and appropriate behavior. Pleasantness is optional. Professional competence is mandatory.

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